“Often children who survive extremely adverse childhoods
have learned a particular survival strategy. I call it ‘strategic
detachment.’ This is not the withdrawal from reality that leads to
psychological disturbance, but an intuitively calibrated disengagement
from noxious aspects of their family life or other aspects of their
world. They some how know, This is not all there is. They hold the
belief that a better alternative exists somewhere and that someday they
will find their way to it. They persevere in that idea. They somehow
know Mother is not all women, Father is not all men, this family does
not exhaust the possibilities of human relationships-there is life
beyond this neighborhood. This does not spare them suffering in the
present, but it allows them not to be destroyed by it. Their strategic
detachment does not guarantee that they will never know feelings of
powerlessness, but it helps them not to be stuck there.”

— Nathaniel Branden, The Six Pillars of Self Esteem

Fairy tales are more than moral lessons and time capsules for cultural commentary; they are natural law. The child raised on folklore will quickly learn the rules of crossroads and lakes, mirrors and mushroom rings. They’ll never eat or drink of a strange harvest or insult an old woman or fritter away their name as though there’s no power in it. They’ll never underestimate the youngest son or touch anyone’s hairpin or rosebush or bed without asking, and their steps through the woods will be light and unpresumptuous. Little ones who seek out fairy tales are taught to be shrewd and courteous citizens of the seen world, just in case the unseen one ever bleeds over.

S.T. Gibson

The greater a child’s terror, and the earlier it is experienced, the harder it becomes to develop a strong and healthy sense of self.

Nathaniel Branden, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

26 Things Adults Do Who Have Experienced Childhood Emotional Abuse

1. They have commitment issues, probably because they had a hard time trusting anyone as a child.
2.
They sometimes go into auto-pilot mode and blank out entire
conversations or events. This is due to disassociation, a skill learned
in childhood, and it’s often unintentional.
3.
Mood swings which seem to come at random times are often the norm for
them. This is often because they had to deal with this as a kid, so the
only response they knew was to model the behavior.
4. They may commit acts of self-harm. This often follows from doing this in childhood.
5. They are angry underneath it all, and have outbursts of anger seemingly from nowhere.
6. They are nervous all the time. This may make them seem edgy or startle easily.
7. They don’t feel valid. No matter what they’re doing, they’re unsure if they can do it.
8. They have low self-esteem.
9. They don’t handle compliments well. They doubt their veracity.
10.
They are quiet. They don’t feel comfortable using their voice after
being worn down as small and wrong throughout their childhood.
11. They may have issues getting close to others, because they may not especially, in general, like people.
12. They may beat themselves up mentally and emotionally, since they were beaten emotionally for so many years.
13. Conflict gives them immense anxiety, so they often run from it instead of facing it.
14. Making eye contact is extremely difficult and speaking makes them anxious, making it even more difficult.
15. They fear others abandoning or leaving them. They have attachment issues.
16. They are often defensive, perceiving people as negative or offensive because of their previous abuse.
17. Often afraid of contact with people, they may be introverted and try to distance themselves as much as possible.
18. They may be sensitive to loud noises, as they were raised in an environment of raised voices and yelling.
19.
Many victims of emotional abuse overdo it because they want to please
everyone. They become perfectionistic, tidy, clean and organized.
20. Often they will have trouble making decisions, after hearing throughout childhood that they were not good enough.
21.
They are tough, but very sensitive. Because of experiencing a plethora
of emotions at a young age, you have considerable emotional sensitivity.
22. The world of emotional abuse leaves them second-guessing everything.
23. They constantly say that they’re sorry.
24. They will often ask questions to which they already know the answer, due to self-doubt.
25. They have addiction issues.
26.
They are actually remarkably humble. They sincerely appreciate the good
things in their life. They are a strong, grateful survivor of their
past.