Tag: emotions

Children
who feel they cannot engage their parents emotionally often try to
strengthen their connection by playing whatever roles they believe their
parents want them to. Although this may win them some fleeting
approval, it doesn’t yield genuine emotional closeness. Emotionally
disconnected parents don’t suddenly develop a capacity for empathy just
because a child does something to please them.

People who lacked emotional engagement in childhood, men and women
alike, often can’t believe that someone would want to have a
relationship with them just because of who they are. They believe that
if they want closeness, they must play a role that always puts the other
person first.

— Lindsay C. Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents (2015)

People who grew up emotionally neglected tend to carry some false beliefs about emotions in relationships. (By Jonice Webb)

Here’s a good, but not exhaustive, sampling:

1. Sharing your feelings or troubles with others will make them feel burdened.

2. Sharing your feelings or troubles with others will chase them away.

3. If you let other people see how you feel, they will use it against you.

4. Sharing your feelings with others will make you look weak.

5. Letting others see your weaknesses puts you at a disadvantage.

6. It’s best not to fight if you want to have a good relationship.

7. Talking about a problem isn’t helpful. Only action solves a problem.

Fortunately, not one of these beliefs is true. In fact, they are each
and every one dead wrong. (The only exception is if you share your
feelings with another emotionally neglected person, who may not have any
idea how to respond). When you grow up receiving consistent direct or
indirect messages that you should keep your feelings to yourself, it is
natural to assume that those feelings are burdensome and undesirable to
others.

“You are not broken, in need of fixing. Rather, you are deeply hurt, in need of care.”

  • “The Complex PTSD Workbook: A Mind-Body Approach to Regaining
    Emotional Control and Becoming Whole” by Arielle Schwartz, Jim Knipe PhD

“Severe separations in early life leave
emotional scars on the brain because they assault the essential human
connection: The [parent-child] bond which teaches us that we are
lovable. The [parent-child] bond which teaches us how to love. We cannot
be whole human beings- indeed, we may find it hard to be human- without
the sustenance of this first attachment.”

— Judith Viorst

Science has proven that:

  • Humans have auras (x)


  • Humans have organs that sense energy (x)


  • We inherit memories from our ancestors (x)


  • Meditation repairs telomeres in DNA, which slows the process of aging. (x)


  • Compassion extends life (x)


  • Love is more than just an emotion (x)


  • Billions of other universes exist (x)


  • Meditation speeds healing (x)

Something tells me that applying a man made rationale, such as reason, to human behaviour (like emotions and subconscious cognition’s) which usually has no foundations in logical sense is really just another human justification. Also it shows complete aversion to the arbitrary nature of things and events that we so desperately wish we controlled. Semantically speaking, I believe that everything has an explanation, but not necessarily a reason. There is a distinction between the two surely? How can it not be multifaceted?


“All it takes is to discard the vain notion that everything happens for a
reason is to imagine one small way that one small thing could be
better.”

When we stop taking responsibility for how we feel, we project how we feel onto others. One of the fundamental insights about emotional maturity is that we are responsible for our own emotional lives. No one makes us feel any particular way. If ten people are subjected to the same emotional environment, they will all feel different about what was said to them. What happens is mostly on automatic pilot because we are not conscious of it.

Adyashanti

23 Emotions people feel, but can’t explain

  • Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.
  • Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
  • Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
  • Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.
  • Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.
  • Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.
  • Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.
  • Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.
  • Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.
  • Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.
  • Vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.
  • Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening
  • Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.
  • Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.
  • Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.
  • Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.
  • Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.
  • Rückkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.
  • Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.
  • Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.
  • Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.
  • Altschmerz: Weariness
    with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws
    and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.
  • Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

    • 23 Emotions people feel, but can’t explain